Don't take the blame

People who are the targets of domestic violence may try to act out verbally or physically against an abuser. That can include yelling, pushing or hitting during conflicts. An abuser might use those actions to manipulate you, claiming they're proof that you are the abusive one. This sometimes is called gaslighting.

Many people dealing with domestic violence develop some unhealthy behaviors. Those behaviors might include trying to avoid or ignore certain situations, thoughts or feelings. Some people may drink too much alcohol or use illegal drugs. Others may attempt to harm themselves. Engaging in these behaviors doesn't mean you are at fault for the abuse or that you deserve it.

If you're having trouble identifying what's happening, take a step back. Look at larger patterns in your relationship. Then review the signs of domestic violence. In an abusive relationship, the person who routinely uses these behaviors is the abuser. The person on the receiving end is being abused.