How to start talking about your needs

It might not be easy to talk about what you want to get out of sex. But sharing your thoughts and expectations with your partner might help you both get more pleasure from sex.

To get started:

• Set a time limit. A long talk about sex, especially the first time you discuss it, can be overwhelming. To get comfortable with the topic, try starting with a 15-minute conversation.
• Talk regularly. Sex isn't a one-and-done topic. Keep the conversation going over time. You may find that the more you talk about sex, the easier it becomes. And your confidence and comfort likely will grow the more you talk.
• Use a book or movie. Invite your partner to read a book about sexual health, or find chapters or sections of a book that cover your questions and concerns. You also might use a movie scene as a starting point for a conversation.